Chasing Amy

Alyssa: Why are we stopping?
Holden: ‘Cause I can’t take this.
Alyssa: Can’t take what?
Holden: I love you.
Alyssa: You love me?
Holden: I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t-I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship – no pun intended – but I had to say it, ’cause I’ve never felt this way before, and I-I don’t care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I’ll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there’s a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just – you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

Runes

My friend Grace Escudero was the first one who showed me what a Rune was, she told me that it’s a kind of device that ancient people use to answer their queries, know their future etc., she told me to borrow it and try it myself. Since I am not into fortune telling and one of my belief is that as a Christian, I shouldn’t do such kind of things, I said no.

After a few months, my friend Keziah asked me to go on a movie date with her, we watched Star dust. In that movie, I saw how runes were actually used and how important they were to people back in the days. Out of curiosity I borrowed Grace’s runes to try it. During that time, I never really appreciated it and since I am not a believer of fortune telling I dismissed the whole rune thing.

While talking to my friend Rheena over the phone, I mentioned to her, that I have runes, she asked me to try it on her, so what I did was consulted the ruin for her, then it turned out that the ruins were accurate and /or made absolute sense. There was also one time that I consulted the rune for her boyfriend Sid and the runes once again made sense. Two nights ago, Rheena wanted to us look for a fortune teller while we were in Silang Cavite, it was 8pm that time and no one new where in “Barrio Buho” the fortune teller is, so we decided not to look for the fortune teller anymore. Disappointed, she told me that when I get back home, she’ll just call me and I’ll consult the Runes for her. Rheena called and we did the rune thing, at first I felt bad coz the runes that I picked looked as if they were all negative, well two of them and the last one seemed positive. At that time, I didn’t know that my friend was going through some tough time, apparently she doesn’t want to tell people about it just yet. when I read to her the results, i asked her if the runes made sense or was the reading accurate. She told me what she was going through and what she told me were in the runes.

Tonight, I consulted the runes for myself , but I did it online though. For a change. I used the Three Norns of the three runes spread, in Norse Mythology, the three Norns were the sisters who decided the fate of all mankind. My query was Am I going to be able  to move on soon? The runes that I picked were:

and this is what it meant:

Postition no. 1 Past - "Uror" The rune in this first position gives insight into underlying forces in the past which may have a bearing on the current situation.

Present - "Veroandi" The rune in the second position gives insight into events that are currently unfolding now. This may be a major indicator, or a minor indicator that deserves more attention.

Future - "Skuld" The word "Skuld" literally means "necessity", and this position indicates an outcome that must necessarily occur based upon the current situation. Changes in this situation may alter the prediction of this rune.

I like my reading tonight, it gave me a positive feedback. The predictions of the runes specially the 1st and 2nd positions were correct, and now that i am in my current state, in which were I can honestly tell you sucks, the third position gave me a good perspective, which is rely on inner strength, my inner strength being God and Jesus gives me faith and trust that I will overcome the obstacles that I am in right now, that I will have the strength to endure what ever the may come my way, because my inner strength is God. Further, it is necessary that I observe discipline and defense of principles, I think that I am doing that right now, e.g. the facebook and twitter embargo, the no show plan etc., which is being done in defense of my principles, my principle on the line to be specific, is “love should not be a heavy feeling, it should not make me suffer.” Now I am having a heavy feeling because of love and suffering because of love, which is totally against my principles. With that, I should defend it.

Yes I will be able to move on. I know that consulting the Runes is not actually necessary for me to know that, I think I actually know that, but I just forgot that I knew it and for quite a long time, I acted as if I didn’t. I thank the runes for giving me a reminder.

I also want to thank God, for always always being there for me, for being my strength and for giving me strength.  It’s just a shame though that every time I get my heart broken I turn to Him and bring back the broken pieces of my heart and ask Him to fix it for me, and when it is already fixed, I get it and it will end up broken again, then I bring it back to  him, it is I shame because I feel like I never gave Him my heart, I always give it to the wrong person and it will just end up smashed and broken. Lord, my heart is once again broken, help me fix it, take it, please fix it and  I  am giving it to you, I am giving back what is rightfully yours, my heart.

no status, no tweet

Due to our midterm week and my getting over / moving on must do, I will not together with two of my friends use twitter or face book for a week.

This is hard for me to do because this two websites could be tagged as my “social life”. Everyday, from the moment I wake, I go online, in between things that I have to do for the whole day I do face book or I tweet, and the second to the last thing I do before I go to bed is use face book and tweet.

However, not just because it will shield me from more hurt and pain, I need this, I need a retreat from this type of addiction. I need a retreat so I can do the things that I have to do, better. I think I need more of these, a break from everything.

Please pray for me that I will do good in my midterm exams.

thank you.

Good Morning!

It’s the start of our midterm week, and as expected I have no sleep, crunching, trying to stay awake and trying to understand what I am reviewing.

Our test for today is Business Organization 1, we are currently on the topic of Partnership, and all I have to say about this topic are, it is boring and it makes me hungry. I know I shouldn’t be worried about it coz duh, I am as thin as paper and as light as a feather but I think the hunger Busorg had caused me to consume a whole lot of carbs.

For dinner I had, fried tuna belly and a lot of rice. Then just after an hour of studying, I got hungry and ordered Yellow Cab’s Meat Lover’s Pizza, while studying I munched Lengua de Gato and dark Swiss chocolate. Around 2:00am I asked my brother to drive me to Sinangag Express, where I had Tapsilog to go, I dropped by 7-11 to buy a cup of noodles as well. Now, I am hungry again, I want to eat chicken nuggets and hot chocolate from Mc Donald’s, and white chocolate mocha from Starbucks.

Today will be a day full of reading, hungry, sleepy, sleepless, stressed out law students, but still Good Morning and may we all have a nice day! Here is an upbeat song to give us all a good mood.

sunny side up coming up

I am really not a morning person, I hate it waking up early in the morning, probably because I just got to sleep an hour ago then my alarm goes off and I need to get up because of an early class, I hate that. Getting ready for an early morning class is a struggle for me.

It ticks me off that my professors would schedule there Saturday classes in the morning, then I come in on time and they are an hour late or an hour and a half late, I hate that. Why can’t  just they set it in a later schedule then, which I think would all be beneficial and easier for everybody.

sorry, this is such a negative entry, I just have to let it out.

Good Morning!

People who spread the Word. Grace Lacson and Keziah Abesamis

One of the wonders that is in face book is that you can see posts of your friends’ friends. One of the friends’ friends post that I actually wait for, is the one from Grace Lacson, I personally don’t know her, I often see her though at Tita Amy’s and Tita LT’s page. Her posts became my favorite because she usually writes or posts verses from the Bible, notes that could help one improve his relationship with God, and something that I can always reflect upon. I appreciate people who spreads the word of God and Jesus, those who reach out and comes out of there way to let others know that there is God and there is our Saviour Jesus Christ.

My friend Keziah, does this all the time as well, I like how she writes her blogs or how she shares her fellowship and how she worship God because people our age can easily relate to it, just the other night as I was reading her blog, entitled “The God of comfort” almost brought me into tears. http://wordbreath.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/the-god-of-comfort/ Kz’s blog always move me, specially the one about faith, God’s abundant love and the likes.

I didn’t ask for her permission but tonight I chance upon a post by Grace Lacson that I will reflect upon during my “quiet time” (A concept I learned from Kz) I hope you guys will also reflect on this as well.

A PRIMARY REASON WHY GOD CREATED HUMAN BEINGS WAS FOR FELLOWSHIP, FOR GOD IS LOVE.

THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF CHRISTIAN WORSHIP IS NOT TO BE INFORMED ABOUT GOD, BUT TO HAVE FELLOWSHIP WITH GOD.

THE MORE WE LOVE GOD, THE MORE WE DELIGHT TO BE WITH HIM.
THE MORE WE LOVE HIM, THE MORE EAGERLY WE WILL SEEK WAYS TO GET MORE TIME TO BE ALONE WITH HIM.

GOD BROUGHT US INTO THE RELATIONSHIP OF SONSHIP-NOT TO GIVE US MORE PRESTIGE, BUT THAT WE MIGHT HAVE THE CLOSEST OF FELLOWSHIP WITH HIM.

MORE THAN HE DESIRES OUR TIME IN SERVING HIM, HE DESIRES OUR TIME IN COMMUNION WITH HIM ALONE.
MORE THAN HE DESIRES OUR SACRIFICES,
HE DESIRES OUR LOVING THOUGHTS,,,OUR LOVING WORDS…

JESUS APPRECIATED THE FAITHFUL, LOVING SERVICE OF MARTHA, BUT IT WAS MARY WHO DREW CLOSER TO HIM. (Luke 10:38-42)

THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF HIS DAILY VISIT TO YOUR HOME IS NOT TO HEAR YOUR COMPLAINTS, NOR EVEN TO HEAR YOUR REQUESTS AND LONG PETITIONS… BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED BEFORE YOU ASK HIM.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalm 37:4

THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF HIS DAILY PRESENCE WITH YOU IS THAT YOU SIT AT HIS FEET, THAT YOU MAKE HIM YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND, YOUR DEAREST CONFIDANT, YOUR HEAVENLY BRIDEGROOM…

But who takes time to spend in communion with God?

Who really believes that it is more important to take time for loving fellowship with God than to work an extra hour to make our work for God more perfect?

Who really believes that it is important to take time to love Jesus?

We do take time to love our family.
We do take time to show friendship to our friends, to bestfriends…

Then why do we seldom go to God except when we want something from Him?

Why is so much of our prayer asking?
Why do we neglect to show our daily personal love to GOD?

Your importance to God is not measured by how influential the position is that you hold nor by the amount of human praises which you receive.You can become great in the sight of God by living closely to the very heart of God.

That is why God was so pleased with Abraham His friend, David the shepherd boy, Mary the loving hearted, and John the beloved.

GOD’S GREAT TASK HAS BUT BEGUN ,,,
MILLIONS MUST BE SOUGHT AND WON ,,
EVERY NATION WE MUST REACH
REACH YOUR LOVE TO EVERYONE –
LISTEN NOW TO GOD’S HOLY CALL
GOD NEEDS YOU, HE NEEDS YOUR ALL…

 

Good night!

say it with post its